The other day I was weeding around Stevie the Pineapple and he toppled from his stalk. He isn't quite ripe enough to cut open but will be soon. Elmer, the baby gecko is watching out for him from the microwave to make sure no bugs give him the hairy eyeball.

The mango tree is loaded this year and I can't wait until more are ripe. I have one in the house right now and keep drooling every time I see it ripening a bit more on the counter.

I was playing at Kua Bay on Sunday and it was absolutely beautiful as usual. I was delighted to find one of my photos included a rainbow.

Stanley loves this lava rock. I think he looks mighty regal perched upon it. Stanley is the colony kitty that once cried and cried until I coaxed him over to feed. Now he still talks a lot but isn't afraid of me any longer. He's usually perched on the landing waiting for me in the morning.

There was a time with a person losing their spouse would take a year for mourning and show of respect before looking about for another mate. Wouldn't this period of time be a great guideline for those divorcing when children are involved?

Many newly divorced couples with children often jump right back into the dating game as soon as the divorce is final; some jump the gun and begin dating as soon as the couple resides in different residences. While it is understandable that single adults often long for companionship a short one year sabbatical doesn’t seem too much to ask when children are part of their lives.

It is also wise to be discrete when beginning to date after a divorce and to get to know the new love interest well enough to know they will be a part of one’s life before introducing them to your children.  Those that introduce their children to a number of candidates which fade from the scene quickly are hurting their children. It is unfair for a child to be introduced to a parent’s new “friend” only to have them disappear and replaced by another within a month or so.  It would seem best to leave the child/children out of the mix completely until the relationship is sound and committed.

I’m not suggesting a single parent refrain for dating altogether yet think that keeping dating separate from the activities with your children is a sound idea. One can date when the child is visiting the other parent, with relatives or with friends. They can know the parent is going out with a friend and there is nothing wrong with this yet being sure of the position a new person in one’s life will become before involving the children is the best path in my opinion.

In my experience single parents that focus upon their children and are not eager to find another mate find their lives fulfilling and joyful. There is always a time to find another mate and good parenting takes a lot of concentration and effort. Spending a few years immersed in your child’s development will be just as much fun as hooking up with another and attempting accommodate the needs of your children while building a relationship with another adult. If a relationship cannot be resisted then caution is warranted. Children should come first and for anyone that believes they won’t have a life because of their obligation to raising their children may have made a mistake in having children in the first place.

Several of my single parent friends and I decided to forgo romance and instead concentrate upon raising our children. We had great times together, never felt odd or out of place with our married friends and their children, had plenty of male friends in our extended family groups that our children weren’t denied both sexes to relate to and our children developed into beautiful, happy, motivated and successful adults. The time went quickly and for me it was the best decision of my life.

It is an individual’s choice of course whether or not they seek another mate after divorce while raising their children but hopefully they will choose wisely.  

Palm trees may sway in Hawaii but it was the sway of San Franciscans that prompted the existence of the gem on the big island, the Mauna Kea Hotel. Certainly, some credit has to be given to Laurance Rockefeller, but San Franciscans should know we have a deeper connection to that hotel than is widely known. On a recent stay there with my children, my curiousity got going as to whyso many San Franciscans have gone to the Mauna Kea since it opened in 1965. What was the grab to this quieter Hawaiian island and to this specific hotel that has such legend around it for the inhabitants around the Golden Gate? As always, there's a story, and this is how it goes...

Recently a number of my friends and acquaintances have separated from their mates.  All basically have done this for various reasons yet none are happy about this transition and react in differently in their approach to the separations. I often wonder if some relationships have a shelf life and expire naturally and whatever the couple shared has met its obligation and there is nothing further to do.

The toughest breakups are when children are involved in my opinion as children often feel they have done something wrong and this is the reason a parent is no longer in residence.  The wife of a friend packed up their children and moved off island with the reason that she no longer enjoyed island life. The separation is amicable yet the father is left without the company of his daughters. Conversing and observing this man for three years and the amount of time he invested in playing with his children I find their absence must be excruciating for him.  He changed jobs in order to spend more time with them only to find his wife so discontent she took them out of his reach.  I know this is going to be difficult for him yet he’s willing to work out whatever it takes to still be able to see his girls as frequently as his job allows and his wife has promised to bring the girls back for visits so they can reconnect with their dad and the friends they left behind.

Another acquaintance with six children found her husband discontent with their 15 year marriage and he moved on leaving her basically stranded. This breakup is not amicable and there is little hope the father will agreeably step up to assisting in child support and care until the courts demand this.   I find the breakup, concern for the children, financial crisis and job seeking for this woman a huge burden at this time yet like many with her strength and conviction she will preserver.  Hopefully with support from friends and family she’ll get through the worst of it quickly and be able to start her life over again.

When children are part of a breakup it is very important to keep them away from hard feelings couples have for each other. These hard feelings are personal and it isn’t necessary to vent one’s anger against another when children are present. Children are very perceptive and will figure out if one of their parents is not as attentive or capable as the other. This does not mean they will remove their unconditional love simply due to the clumsiness as a parent. If one feels neglect or any other concern is involved converse without accusations or assumptions. The more amicable the conversations the less likely a further rift will occur.  Most of all allow your children to enjoy their childhoods without the stress of the drama you may be living because of a breakup. When they become aware of certain aspects attempt to explain the situation without maligning or judgment.  I do know this can be tough when feeling put upon and betrayed but refraining from ill-behavior for your children’s sake will pay off at a much higher rate.  Your children will thank you for your restraint and will benefit from this with their approach to relationships.

Some relationships break up due to abuse, neglect, infidelity and copious other reasons. What I find however is some understand that they need to focus upon what was good in the relationship accept what tore it apart and attempt to be reasonable, respectable and compassionate without holding grudges, resentment or hatred toward each other.  When children are involved this understanding can save them years of grief and confusion.

WAIMEA, Hawaii: North Hawaii Community Hospital will only accept new maternal care patients who live within the hospital’s defined service area, starting now.

Public school students and teachers rallied in downtown Portland on Friday urging others to "get upset" about cuts to state education funding and demand legislators do something about it. 

"It's great to reach the point in the recovery where your biggest problem is you have too many birds," said Scott Fretz, wildlife program manager at the state Department of Natural Resources. "I wish I had similar problems with more of our endangered species."

As soon as the rocks arrive in his lab, our rock doctor performs “sample triage” and carefully assesses lava fragments for signs of changes related to eruptive conditions. Portions of Pele’s hair, tears, and lava are sorted for different types of chemical analyses that will ensure a complete and thorough diagnosis of Kilauea’s internal plumbing.

I received a phone call today with a complaint about my cat colony. The caller knew my address and said the neighbors were complaining about the cat’s path back and forth to my yard. The problem with this complaint is the caller did not leave his name or number to enable us to speak with him about his discontent.

I have spoken to all of my neighbors except for him as he wouldn’t acknowledge me when I did make an attempt.  Due to this I simply took information about the advoCATS society and a note with my name and number over to his house. This man and his wife are new to the neighborhood and it appears island living is very unfamiliar to them.  While the other neighbors have not complained about the new feeding station for the cats I have to think that perhaps he’s a complaint of his own and not as a group.

The cats come from the field, eat, and drink hang about in the evening for a bit then leave. They are here early in the morning, eat, drink and head back to their nests.  They will explore this new neighbor’s yard and walk his rock wall or sit on it but since I supervise them continually I have not observed them causing any damage or harm to his property.

This complaint is not a surprise if it is coming from this new resident but what is concerning is that if this is in fact his complaint why not be upfront about it and leave his name and phone number? I would welcome a discussion with him and an attempt to find a solution that suits us both.

I’ve heard stories of complaints about neighbors from many others across the country. People that have issues yet are not willing to step up and discuss these issues with the person involved. Doesn’t it seem a bit cowardly to whine away and grouse yet not have the courage to confront the issue head on and get it resolved? Why is it easier to complain to others so it finally gets back to the one the complaint is all about?

I went with my daughter to Mauna Kea and left her to work while I went in search of sunsets and moon rise. It was a great adventure and a wonderful way to spend a few hours bumping around from beach to beach.

Geothermal energy, a thought-provoking resource that struck the fancy of Hawaiian royalty decades before statehood, is gathering steam as a viable replacement for petroleum-based energy.

Crunk is referred to in rap music and urban slang. It means a lot of things, including a drink that mixes soda or other beverage with an over-the-counter cough syrup and crushed prescription pain killers.

Cesspools, which are used more widely in Hawaii than any other state, discharge raw sewage into the ground, where disease-causing pathogens and other contaminants can pollute groundwater, streams and the ocean.  Large capacity cesspools are used by restaurants, hotels, office complexes, and multiple dwellings, such as duplexes, apartments and condominiums to dispose their sanitary waste.

Hawaii already has to deal with plastic trash from the Great Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch washing up on its beaches, so it's good to know that it won't be too long before residents can stop worrying about the additional pollution created by plastic shopping bags.

If I’m not mistaken most of us learned that saying “Please” and “Thank you” was appropriate when dealing with others. We also learned that when in public we were expected to pay attention and be on our best behaviors.  We were taught good citizenship in the classroom and admonished when we were disrespectful and displayed inappropriate behavior.  Was this all in vain?

I began using “Please” and “Thank you” with my children at infancy and they practiced this even when they couldn’t articulate the words. They were taught that the moment they walked out the door of our home they were expect to be on their best behavior, use their manners and continually pay attention to their surroundings.

When my son was ten and my daughter 6 it was open house at my daughter’s school. That afternoon my son had behaved quite poorly toward his sister so she told him he could not attend the open house with us that evening. As we were getting ready to go my son begged my daughter to allow him to join her at the event. He apologized for being rude to her hoping this would encourage her to rethink her decision. She looked at him and said, “Your behavior has been abominable and I don’t want you to go with us” and he replied, “But you know the moment I step out the door I will be a perfect gentleman”. She relented and off we went with them hand in hand.

I knew I was on the right track with them as this type of slip up, apology and forgiveness occurred more than once in their growing years. I gave them leeway in solving their problems on their own and only interfered when the dispute went further than they were able to handle. If I did interfere I attempted to stay neutral and only make suggestions in how the issue might be resolved. Both are adults now and still practice effective problem solving skills with respect and do not forget their manners when doing so.

I’ve observed that the public arena often involves adults that haven’t been properly guided in remembering their manners. They often cause discontent and inconvenience to others without realizing they are doing so and if anyone mentions this to them they become defensive and offended.  Also I’ve observed that many think others are in service to them and they are so special that everyone should automatically know this and act accordingly.

As an example I’m siting the food industry for a couple of my observations. My daughter works as a food runner and hostess in an upscale restaurant and we often discuss how customers treat the staff. They’ll complain about the price of the menu and then cheat the staff by not leaving a tip or skimping on the tip. I’m sure most of these diners realize the staff makes $9 an hour, usually only work 4 hours a shift and the tips assist in them in their quest to make a living wage. Most of these service staff workers have more than one job. Without them we’d be quite lost so their service should be appreciated.

There are some that have “special needs” and will make this a point when around others in the service industry. Service people often are the target for those thinking “service” comes with a one way smile and this does not apply to the customer. They’ll inform servers in restaurants that they are lactose intolerant, eat glutton free, have food allergies, are vegans or vegetarians and expect their server to recite every ingredient on the menu then complain there is nothing for them to eat. This makes me wonder if they expect others to know their dietary needs and go out of their way to accommodate them. Of course many restaurants offer a variety of foods for such needs yet for a customer to feel the restaurant is obligated to serve them in such a special manner seems a bit overboard.  Not all food sensitive types do this of course but the number that do can be quite disconcerting for the server and they often take the brunt of the customer’s discontent.

When did it become appropriate to go into a restaurant, get into the face of the hostess and say, “No Crayons!” when told your table is ready? Wouldn’t it have been much better to request a table that was away from where children are sitting?

How about making rude remarks when something is unsuitable? Is this the manner in which our mothers and fathers taught us to respond, or would they smack us upside the head and give us a tongue lashing for not being nice? How would our mother react if we were sitting at her table and said, “Well, I guess there isn’t much lettuce in the garden from the look of this salad?”  

Out in the public our behaviors often color our whole day and most of us just want to get our tasks over and move on to other endeavors. The lack of manners some display often make this effort a bigger bother than need be.

Most of us simply put up with those that are oblivious to the needs of others and it has become an issue that should not have to be part of our daily lives. When did we move so far away from knowing that we have an obligation to be polite and appropriate in public? Most of us do as we please at home so it doesn’t seem to be such a stretch to understand that when we walk out our doors we add a smile, pick up our manners and keys and head out.

Here's what's happening around my ohana!

My kitty colony is thriving. They have loved the construction going on in the lot in back of our house. The workers don't arrive until after their morning feeding and leave before the evening feeding. They are very interested in the progress of the building an inspect it thoroughly each day.

Kona Coffee blenders argue that this is fair, since they clearly state the anemic authenticity of their products on the label. But most blends only contain the bare minimum of island-grown beans required, proof that the main reason for blending is to sell the cheapest bag of coffee possible, while still keeping the name “Kona” on it.

I was reading about the Hawaiian Culture and History this morning and found this paragraph in Wikipedia:

“Pele belief continued after the old religion was officially abolished in 1819. In the summer of 1823 English missionary William Ellis toured the island to determine locations for mission stations.^[3]:236 After a long journey to the volcano Kīlauea with little food, Ellis eagerly ate the wild berries they found growing there.^[3]:128 The berries of the ʻōhelo (Vaccinium reticulatum) plant were considered sacred to the Pele. Traditionally prayers and offerings to Pele were always made before eating the berries. The volcano crater was an active lava lake, which the natives feared was a sign that Pele was not pleased with the violation.^[3]:143 Although wood carvings and thatched temples were easily destroyed, the volcano was a natural monument to the goddess.”

The missionaries were assigned to rid the planet of beliefs they found contrary to their own and I feel they did great harm in this quest. Often the reason for conversion was that the indigenous people’s beliefs were barbaric and brutal. However, the method to gain control and compliance was often brutal and barbaric. Many horrific acts were performed to deny others their beliefs and their practices, wiping out the memory of what these beliefs meant and their purpose.

The missionaries used excuses to steal the spirit and the souls of the indigenous people all in the name of Jesus Christ. The missionaries took it upon themselves to malign and demean those that did not comply to their laws of faith, stole from them, impoverished them and felt justified in this quest.

What would have happened if the missionaries instead learned from the people and their beliefs and left them to their ways? Instead of insisting the people believe in Jesus, introduce Jesus as a friend to all beliefs? What if the Religious Wars never happened and all of mankind instead respected each other’s faith as valid and equal? Would our planet be more peaceful, enlightened and show more prosperity? What if all tribes of man were accepted for their memories of their creation and were able to build and evolve upon this?

So many beliefs and practices have been suppressed throughout history that we have ended up with many troubled beings lost and wandering. Humans have been tortured for believing in a manner that is objectionable to others and have been cast out as heretics, barbarians and infidels.   Imagine a world where none of this existed and all beliefs were embraced. It would seem if this were the case there would be no reason to war on each other due to our belief systems and we could learn from each other rather than fear them.

I have wanted some colorful photos to use in creating greeting cards. I was aiming for bright colors and interesting patterns of nature. I think these are good candidates for the views I can use for my project. What do you think?

In her new book, The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter — And How to Make the Most of Them Now, University of Virginia clinical psychologist Meg Jay argues that those first years of adulthood are the most important time in a young person's life.

Jay recently joined NPR's Rachel Martin to discuss why the 20s are such a crucial age for both college grads and non-college grads.

 

I attended Church with my siblings and mother regularly until I reached the age of 16. As a very young child attending Sunday school and hearing about how Jesus loves us all then transitioning into how Jesus only loves a few left me with many questions about how this whole dynamic could change so drastically. As a teen I attended a variety of services with schoolmates and observed the line of thinking was very much the same theme from one to another.  I felt no ill will toward any of the religious leaders or the congregation yet could not in good conscious continue to attend services when feeling such intense conflict for what I was hearing.  This transition began in 1960 when being religious was extremely important in society so I knew that my separation was not going to be well received and did not discuss the matter with anyone in attempting to avoid disharmony.

I did not denounce God or the teachings of Jesus as this was not my reasons for leaving the Christian Church. I felt it was the interpretations that were the basis for my separation and nothing more. I viewed the idea of a God truly harmed no one and was completely enthralled by what I read about the teaching of Jesus as a man of God.  What I opposed was religious leaders that were not all inclusive, judged others, demeaned and maligned them and often spoke disrespectfully about other religions as their format for sermons. I felt this was inappropriate and not in the spirit of God in any manner.

Fifty-two years later I look back on my decision to develop my soul growth on my own and have found I’d made the right choice for me. I find I am compatible with all types of people of all walks of life and religious practices. I feel the growth I’ve made by resisting comparisons to anyone has been greatly beneficial in living a joyful and enlightening life. Walking away from something that was expected of me and knowing I could be making a big mistake was difficult at the beginning yet the more I learned and opened myself to others the more I realized it was my path and I am happy I chose to follow.

As humans we often feel we must distrust, discount, reject and renounce paths we’ve taken and found unsuitable for us. We feel obligated to spread the word that what we have done is not something anyone should do or if they are actively participating must stop. I do not feel this way and although I decided that organized religion was not for me I would not think of recruiting others to feel the same. I believe changes in life are very personal and sacred wherever they may lead and when we honor each other’s choices we build upon harmony together. In leaving organized religion I felt the freedom to adventure, research, wonder and use my curiosity without betraying my faith or beliefs. When we walk away a respectful and gracious good-bye is a gateway to new experiences without regret.

Recently my daughter decided to close an account she had with a local gym. The owner was present when she went in to pay the remainder of her membership. He was a total jerk and gruff, arrogant and disrespectful. We started laughing before we hit the door as we were cracking up over the guy’s behavior.

Not too long ago I decided to close an account I wasn’t using regularly and the woman I was dealing with was a snot. She became huffy and offended that I had the audacity to request my account be closed. I wondered if she might try to refuse to close it the way she was treating me.

I went into a popular department store and the salesperson must have had too many morning cups of coffee as she was wired to the hilt. She wanted me to open an account with the store and pushed hard in trying to get me to open one. I told her I'd closed my account years ago with the store and did not wish to open it again. I kept saying I wasn’t interested and she kept telling me all of the benefits I’d receive. The more I rejected her offer the pushier she became until she got a bit offensive toward me. Again, I left laughing and knew if I ever went into that store again and she was there I would avoid her at all costs.

I was discussing these strange encounters with a friend and we were rolling as who would recommend anyone to these businesses when they treat their customers with such disdain? I certainly wouldn’t say “Oh, go to Fat Sam’s Gym where if you decide you don’t want to continue your membership the owner treats you like crap” or “If you want to be demeaned and treated poorly, sign up for an account at Freda’s Funky Junk” and “Maverick’s Department Store has salespeople that will put a snake oil salesman to shame”. When businesses get nasty if accounts are closed it makes me wonder if their offensive behavior hasn’t exacerbated the reason so many customers beat feet.  I certainly would not recommend any of these guys after being treated like some kind of offal, and I mean the entrails type, not just the plain old awful.

Has this ever happened to you? How’d you react?

HILO, Hawaii: Hours of hula culminated on Saturday night in Hilo, when the 49th annual Merrie Monarch Festival competition wrapped up and the winning halau were announced.

Winners were named in Kane Kahiko, Wahine Kahiko, Kane ‘Auana, and Wahine ‘Auana divisions, as well as overall winners.